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Dear Internet,

1. I have a new sassy cane. It's purplish and faintly reminiscent of Dr. Keri Weaver on ER so that's cool I guess. Sympathetic and nosy looks from strangers have shifted from "what did that girl break?" to "what horrible disease does that tragic young lady have? she's got all her hair so what could it be?"

2.I am officially on medical leave for the rest of the school year which is good cause it means no more children's dirty looks and all that but it also means no money since I am financially unsavvy enough to not tick the box that says "disability insurance, why yes I'd like to pay into a system I'll probably  never need." oops.

3.I have now seen every doctor my insurance covers plus a few it doesn't cover in an attempt to figure out what has gone wrong in my awesome body. Here is the current list of potentials:

1. Acoustic neuroma (not good we do not want a brain tumor even if it is benign)

2. Multiple Sclerosis (also v. not good, especially do not want since it will be a preexisting condition forever and i will never be able to get disability in the future if needed)

3. Autoimmune inner ear disease (aka lupus) (this I could deal with, it would suck, i'd lose hearing in my left ear for sure, but it sounds manageable comparatively speaking)

4. Vestibular Neuritis (my #2 self diagnosis and after attending Hollywood Upstairs Medical College I feel qualified to make this announcement, this would get better eventually even though I am one of those lucky people who do not seem to be compensating, but there is rehab available)

5. Meniere's Disease (my #1 self diagnosis, I could deal, it never goes away, there would be progressive hearing loss, but I could deal, I have even started my hearing aid fund, how responsible of me!) p.s. there's even a special diet to follow and i do love a diet ;)

6.BPPV (really don't want because they can't do anything and doctors don't care, its common and boring and would suck forever)

7. It's all in your head and you are crazy (really don't want for obvious reasons, I'm already getting that vibe from one of my doctors and sometimes I really hate doctors)

I have 2 more days before I find out my MRI results. I couldn't sleep all last night imagining the worst which has lead me to inhaling trashy vampire romance novels (the dirty kind not the smeyer kind) to keep my mind preoccupied. Hopefully all will be well with my insides.

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July 2012
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